A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
A few peas short of a casserole.
A few pickles short of a jar.
A hole in his bag of marbles.
A living example of artificial intelligence.
About as bright as a black hole.
About as sharp as a bowling ball.
About as sharp as jello.
About as smart as live bait.
All foam, no beer.
All sail and no boat.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
An intellect rivaled only by that of garden tools.
As sharp as a marble.
As smart as bait.
Chimney’s clogged.
Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box.
Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn’t know which side of the toast the butter is on.
Dumber than a box of hair.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Grease spot on the driveway of life.
Her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
His Slinky’s kinked.
Knitting with only one needle.
Not the brightest color…in the crayon box.
One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl.
One sandwich short of a picnic.
One taco short of a combination plate.
She’s sharp as a marble!
Strong, like a Bear…Smart, like a Tractor.
Studies hard for blood tests.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.
Archive for the ‘Lists’ Category
A clever one…
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008Why did the chicken cross the road?
Friday, October 13th, 2006KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. (more…)
69 redenen waarom het GEWELDIG is om een MAN te zijn!
Tuesday, October 10th, 20061. Naakte personages in films en tv-serie zijn vrijwel uitsluitend vrouwelijk.
2. De kapper kost je geen 5 uur van je kostbare tijd en ook geen anderhalf maandloon.
3. Je kunt met je vrienden over muziek praten.
4. Voetbalkantines.
5. Niemand stoort het, jezelf incluis, als je twee of drie dagen dezelfde kleren draagt.
6. Je kunt een spijker in de muur slaan.
7. Het is volstrekt mogelijk om geweldige seks te hebben met iemand die je niet kan uitstaan.
8. Andere mensen vinden het fantastisch van je als je kunt koken. Of sterker nog: als je kunt strijken. (more…)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Monday, October 9th, 2006JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it: the “other side.”
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain and simple as that. (more…)

(4.00 out of 5)