- If you’re choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
- Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
- Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat – use the sink.
- For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
- A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.
- You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
- Remember – everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
- If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.
Daily thought: some people are like slinkies – not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.