Category Archives: Sexist

Blonde's Diary

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo!
Bottles won’t fit in typewriter!

March
Got really excited…..finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…..box said ‘2-4 years!’

April
Trapped on an escalator for hours…..power went out!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid….wrong instructions….8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!

June
Tried to go water skiing…..couldn’t find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition…..learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm…..car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is ‘C’…..isn’t it?

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days…..instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108 lbs!

December
Couldn’t call 911…..’duh’…..there’s no ‘eleven’ button on the stupid phone!

What a year!!.

When women are asked the question

A. The rules of “yes” or “no”
– Written by Danielle

1. If a guy asks you to have sex with him, slap him and say no.

2. If he continuously asks (consider this the monopoly method, you don’t get what you want so you go back to go, in this case #1) slap him and say no

3. As girls, we all know maybe means NO, but the idiots don’t follow and will continue to ask you and encourage you to change the NO to a YES. If this problem occurs… slap him and say no.

B. The rules of “yes” or “no”
– Written by Jenna Richter

1. If a girl says no, she probably isn’t quite ready or she may bekind of shy or insecure. Some advice for all you clueless guys – if she says no, she means no, so don’t try to change her mind or rush her into things she isn’t ready for because she’ll just regret it. She’ll know when she’s ready, and she’ll probably let you too know so until then, WAIT!!!!!

2. If a girl says “I don’t know” that probably means she’s been thinking about it a lot but can’t decide what to do or what the right thing to do is. Don’t worry-she’ll make her decision soon enough!

3. If a girl says maybe, that means she probably will pretty soon, so get ready all you worthy guys!

4. If a girl says yes right off the bat, she’s probably a tad bit easy and just wants guys to like her more so she has sex. Stay away from her if you don’t truly love her.

VERSION II – WHEN A GUY RESPONDS “YES OR NO”

D. The rules of “yes” or “no”
– Written by Jennifer Johnson

1. If he says “definitely not”, he’s gay.
2. If he says “no”, his wife/girlfriend is nearby.
3. If he says “Maybe”, he’s checking out your friends and wondering if they’re coming along too
4.. If he says yes, get yourself tested.

E. The rules of “yes” or “no”
– Written by Pat Carlin

If you ask a guy to have sex with you and he says

“YES,” he probably already took you to dinner and a show that night, arrived at your house clean shaven, wearing clothes that matched over buns of steel.

If he says, “Maybe” he is waiting to get a good look at your butt before he makes up his mind.

If he says, “No” it’s because he prefers men.

If he says, “definitely not” you probably have something hanging out of your nose.

F. THE RULES OF “YES AND NO”
– Written by Jamie Harley

1. If you ask a guy to have sex with you and he says “definitely not,” he’s really lying to you.

2. If he says “no,” he’s still lying to you. He’s just being polite.

3. If he says “maybe,” he means “yes,” but he’s still being polite and trying not to be to forward. Keep playing the game and see how long his patience will last. Most guys won’t last through the third date like this.

4. If he says “yes,” he’s actually being honest with you. Beware, that could backfire in the honesty department later… as in answers to, “Am I getting fat? Do you think I look good in this dress?”

Land mines in Kuwait

A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about ten feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walk several yards behind their wives.
She approached one of the women for an explanation.

“This is marvellous,” said the journalist. “What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?”
“Land mines”, Replied the Kuwaiti woman.